It is truly amazing how much your heart grows as a parent. I have these places in my heart dedicated to each of my children. And it is like my heart has grown to fit them (like the Grinch's heart!). I love them differently and yet the same and with a fierceness that can only be described as a "mother's love." Both of my sons, unique individuals, and I love them as such. They both own a part of me, as does their daddy. The three men in my life have my heart intertwined to their hearts. I love my boys. More than my own life.
This child is so beautiful. If I may say so myself, Todd and I make cute kids! We were able to get some 4D pictures of his face. It was so incredible to get to see so much detail on his face, even at 18 weeks and 4 days old. It was pretty funny because apparently he had his face squished into the placenta, so it took them a long time to get a good picture of his face. When she told us that his face was in the placenta, my initial reaction was, "oh my gosh, he cant breathe!" and then I immediately thought "no you dummy, babies dont get oxygen through their noses." Ah, the crazy mind of a mommy who has had a child die.
This baby, at this point, looks so much like his older brother. Todd and I saw it immediately. When I showed these pictures to our best friends, that was what they thought too. It is so much fun to me that my boys may look similar. I love it when siblings look alike. Now, by the time this baby comes out, they may not look as much alike, but in this ultrasound picture he looks like his big brother.
Here is our precious Gideon so you can see how much they look alike.
I wish with all my heart that Gideon was here with us. I want to be able to raise both of our sons together on this earth. I want to be able to have all of their arms around me, I want to snuggle both of them and read them both bedtime stories and tuck them into bed. I want to see them wrestle on the floor with their daddy and hear their laughter. I want to see them at church worshiping together and praying before meals. I want to be able to see them together, who they would be together, their relationship as brothers. I will have to wait for that for when we get to eternity. But when we all get there, what a glorious day that will be.
We are so very thankful for the prayers from our friends and family. I am thankful that we get to be parents to 2 boys! And thankful that this baby, today, is healthy and alive. I pray that we get to bring this child home with us, where he will stay. I pray that this child grows into a strong man of God. That he follows the Lord all the days of his life. And I selfishly, pray that that is a long, long time. Mostly, I pray "Lord, I trust You." Because no matter what happens, I know He will never leave us.
Now we just have to name this little guy....and make it through the next 20 weeks!
"For You created my inmost being, You knit me together in my mother's womb." Psalm 139:13