Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Baby brother or sister?

We found out the gender of the new baby!!!!

Gideon is having BROTHER!!!! Todd and I knew it! We knew in our hearts that we were having a second boy. And I think that for me, the Lord prepared me for that. It is much harder emotionally to have a subsequent boy when your first son died. It just is. But since I knew it in my spirit beforehand, it gave me a chance to think about and prepare for it. So, at the moment when I saw his penis, and knew he was a boy, I would be excited about the idea of having 2 sons, and not saddened by it. And I am not sad. I am excited and happy that he is a boy!!! I am so excited to get to be the mom of 2 boys. One here on earth and one in heaven. Todd and I love our sons so much!

 It is truly amazing how much your heart grows as a parent. I have these places in my heart dedicated to each of my children. And it is like my heart has grown to fit them (like the Grinch's heart!). I love them differently and yet the same and with a fierceness that can only be described as a "mother's love." Both of my sons, unique individuals, and I love them as such. They both own a part of me, as does their daddy. The three men in my life have my heart intertwined to their hearts. I love my boys. More than my own life.

This baby, our second son, is totally healthy. We got to see every inch of his precious body. The ultrasound was about an hour long and saw his little feet, his hands, his legs, his spine, his beautiful heart beating 156 beats a minute. We saw his kidneys, ribs and his brain. We could even see the vessels in his brain!! They looked at the placenta and umbilical cord. Gideon had an undetected problem with the placement of his umbilical cord into the placenta, which eventually caused him to pass. But at this point, this baby doesn't have the same problem with the cord. We are so very thankful for that. My doctor and the specialist I am going to are going to continue keep an extremely close eye on this baby and on me.

This child is so beautiful. If I may say so myself, Todd and I make cute kids! We were able to get some 4D pictures of his face. It was so incredible to get to see so much detail on his face, even at 18 weeks and 4 days old. It was pretty funny because apparently he had his face squished into the placenta, so it took them a long time to get a good picture of his face. When she told us that his face was in the placenta, my initial reaction was, "oh my gosh, he cant breathe!" and then I immediately thought "no you dummy, babies dont get oxygen through their noses." Ah, the crazy mind of a mommy who has had a child die.

 This baby, at this point, looks so much like his older brother. Todd and I saw it immediately.  When I showed these pictures to our best friends, that was what they thought too. It is so much fun to me that my boys may look similar. I love it when siblings look alike. Now, by the time this baby comes out, they may not look as much alike, but in this ultrasound picture he looks like his big brother.
Here is our precious Gideon so you can see how much they look alike.

I keep thinking about this verse " I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:14. I think of that verse every time I look at my pictures of Gideon and every time I think of his beautiful face and body. Now, when I look at these pictures of our second son, I think the same thing. Both of my boys, fearfully and wonderfully made.

I wish with all my heart that Gideon was here with us. I want to be able to raise both of our sons together on this earth. I want to be able to have all of their arms around me, I want to snuggle both of them and read them both bedtime stories and tuck them into bed. I want to see them wrestle on the floor with their daddy and hear their laughter. I want to see them at church worshiping together and praying before meals.  I want to be able to see them together, who they would be together, their relationship as brothers. I will have to wait for that for when we get to eternity. But when we all get there, what a glorious day that will be.

We are so very thankful for the prayers from our friends and family. I am thankful that we get to be parents to 2 boys! And thankful that this baby, today, is healthy and alive. I pray that we get to bring this child home with us, where he will stay. I pray that this child grows into a strong man of God. That he follows the Lord all the days of his life. And I selfishly, pray that that is a long, long time. Mostly, I pray "Lord, I trust You." Because no matter what happens, I know He will never leave us.

Now we just have to name this little guy....and make it through the next 20 weeks!

"For You created my inmost being, You knit me together in my mother's womb." Psalm 139:13


LinseyLoo said...

Your strength and the place the Lord has brought you to through your faith are stunning. He is so good, so faithful, and so brilliant. Here is just another beautiful example of how He works all things together for the good of those who Love Him. Congratulations! I am so happy for y'all! He is beautiful!! Love you, my dear Stormy!!

Patty Eaton said...

Well, how awesome is that!!!!!!!! Golly....I am sooooo happy for you and Todd. I can't get over how much your two boys look alike Stormy! I was thinking that before i read your words. Wow. Does your younger son appear to be smiling?????Can't wait to hear what you name him. I love the name, Gideon! Bet ya'll come up with a name that is just as meaningful. Well girl, I love you. And I'm so glad I was not right on predicting the sex. This is just what God planned!!!! Yea God!!!!!

Holly said...

So happy for a healthy baby boy! Praying for a continued safe and healthy pregnancy