Friday, December 21, 2012

10 Years Ago

10 years ago today, Todd asked me to be his wife.

In case you werent sure, I said yes. Lol! We got married 5 months later.

The day we got engaged was a breathtaking  day. The best day of my life up until that point.
We were in college, I was 20, he was 19. We had been dating only a few months, but I knew. I knew from out first date that I would marry him. He knew on our second date I was the woman God had set aside for him.

God truly orchestrated our love story.

He asked me to be his wife at an Aeros hockey game. On the big screen in front of a LOT of people.  It was perfect for me. Baseball is my favorite sport, and hockey is my second favorite. Todd didnt want to wait until baseball season to propose so we got engaged at the hockey game. We had gone out to eat at a really nice Italian restaurant and I thought me might ask me there (I knew we were getting engaged that night, I just didnt know when or how). but then I knew he wouldn't because he is very romantic and very creative. To this day, he is still very romantic. The whole night he made me drive and he would just direct me where to go. It was fun not knowing where we were going and him just saying "ok, at the next light turn left." or whatever. We got to the hockey game and it seriously never crossed my mind that he would ask me there! We were sitting in the front row, ice side, almost in the center of the ice. During the 2nd period of the game, I hear "Please turn your attention to Section ___ (I dont remember what section we were in), Stormy, Todd has a question he wants to ask you." And I look down and he is on one knee. All the people in our section are cheering. And most of the crowd is  too. Todd asked me "Stormy, will you marry me?" And I said "YES!" And I snatched the ring box out of his hand and hugged him so tight and kissed him a bunch!  The team mascot came up and gave me a dozen roses.Someone in the crowd yelled "What did she say?!" And I yelled back "I said Yes!" It was hilarious!

Todd put the ring on my finger. His hands were shaking, as were mine. I couldn't wait to become his wife. The ring was perfect, (Todd and I both picked it out.) I couldnt stop staring at Todd and the ring on my finger. It was as if the whole world got silent, and there was just me and him. Everything else disappeared, my whole world was right in front of me.

I loved him so much on that day. He would literally take my breath away. He still does.

A decade later and I love him so much more than I can even imagine.

Our love back then was truly beautiful. It was everything you could think of new love being, and then some.Todd wrote me love notes all the time and would leave them for me in my mailbox on campus. He surprised me often with romantic and fun things to do together. He We were, and still are, best friends. It was real and deep and fun and filled with joy and laughter. And so much more. He was the man I was committed to. The one God set apart for me. He was the man that I wanted to spend my entire life with. He was selfless, giving, caring and compassionate. He loved God above all else and me second. He wanted a life for us where we would seek Jesus every day.  He made me laugh and we were silly together. We could talk about anything..  really was my best friend.

But now, our love is so much more. I loved him so much back then, but I would take what we have today over what we had then. We are still passionate and our love is still deep and filled with joy. Todd still leaves me notes and still is romantic. He tell me every day that he loves me. And he shows me every single day. He is still selfless, giving, caring, compassionate and loving. He is strong and silent. He still seeks God above all else. He loves Jesus first and then me and the kids. He still makes me laugh. But it is so much more.

He is my soul mate, my husband and the father of my children.

We have walked through the valley of darkness together. And we have come out stronger. Closer to Jesus and close to each other. Our love for each other is richer because we have experienced the death of our child and we, as a couple, held tightly to God and to each other.

Our relationship is so much stronger than it was before Gideon passed away. We have always had a great relationship. We have always talked about everything, prayed together, laughed and cried together. But when he died, it opened up something in both of us. It made our love for each other even deeper than before. We have walked through the valley of darkness with each other and have come out closer. It hasnt been easy, he and i grieve so differently, right after Gideon died, we were on totally different pages in our grief that it was like we were speaking a completely different language but we stuck together and we have kept our communication going. He is truly my best friend. As I watched him grieve our son, it made me realize what an amazing man God has placed in my life. It made me realize that he is the strongest yet most sensitive man I have ever met. He talks about Gideon all the time and listens to me when I talk about him. He is always there for me, for the great days and for the horrible days. And I will always be there for him. Like, I said, we loved each other before and were very close, but we are so much closer now. We are close in a way that only comes when you have walked through tragedy together. It is rich, and deep and full of complete love for each other.
Our love is more than I can even describe. We have walked the journey of grief. He is the only one who knows what its like to lose Gideon the way I do because we are his parents. We have shown each other our raw and deep emotions. We have wept on each other. We have many moments where we just look at each other and it is as if we have a whole conversations using no words.. My love for him changed dramatically when I saw him holding the precious body of our Gideon and when I saw his extreme joy the moment Silas was born. He has seen me at my lowest and I have seen his. Just as I have seen his highest and he has seen mine. And I love him more.

There are no words to truly describe our love. This kind of love only happens when you have walked the road we have walked.

I love you, Todd. More than words can express. Thank you for asking me to marry you 10 years ago today (a whole decade! And 1/3 of my life!!! Wow!).  You are an incredible husband and daddy to our boys. I wouldn't want to walk through this life with any one else. You are my heart.

Our wedding anniversary (May 17th) is now shared with the birth of precious Gideon and so our anniversary will always be split between celebrating our marriage and his life, so I wanted to take today, on the 10th anniversary of  mine and Todd's engagement to focus on just my husband and where God had brought us over the past 10 years. And tonight we will go out and celebrate the day that I said YES! :)

This is "Dancing Through the Minefields" and I send this song to the love of my life, my wonderful husband.

1 comment:

bobbie said...

stormy, i loved reading this me and matt also grieved differently but as you have said it has made us so much stronger.
You and Todd are wonderful people and parents