This is week 3 of my Illuminate photography class and our project this week is about perspective. When you are grieving sometimes it is hard to get out of your house, honestly some days it is hard to get out of bed. So for our photography assignment, we were supposed to pick a starting point, then walk a certain distance and take pictures from all different perspectives; looking up, looking down, looking close and far away, etc. Then for our blog, we are to look at our situation from a different perspective than maybe what we are used to. Even in light of the death of our babies, we are focusing on being grateful, which is hard to do, especially in the darker days of grief. I decided to make a list of 100 things I am grateful for.
This is at the cemetery where Gideon is buried. I parked in the same spot where we parked for his funeral (which is not where I usually park) Then I walked 100 steps and found myself about 20 feet from Gideon's place. This is his headstone and urn, with his flowers for the fall. For the perspective on this picture, I got down on my knees to be close to the ground, like I do when I visit Gideon's place.
This is at the cemetery, after I took the 100 steps, standing in the same place where I took the picture of Gideon's headston and urn, but this time I am looking up at the sky through the branches of a tree.
1) Jesus and his love for us.
2) His sacrifice so we could have a relationship with Him
3) Because of that we get the promise of Eternal life
7) My parents
8) My siblings (and sibling-in-laws)
9) My other family
10) My best friends
11) My other wonderful friends
13) Hot tea
14) Driving on a cool day with the windows down
15)The love I have for my children and husband
16) Music...I could talk about music for days. I love it.
17) The Beatles music
18) Jenny & Tyler's music
19) Worship at my church
20) NKOTB! (Dont judge me, they are awesome!!)
21) I've gotten to see them in concert twice in the past few years
22) My church
23) My friends at church
24) Fall, Spring and Winter weather in Houston area
25) Christmas time
26) Getting to be pregnant with Gideon during Christmas time
27) And getting to be pregnant with him during Halloween, Thanksgiving, New Years Valentine's day, Easter and Mother's day.
28) That Gideon gets to be in Heaven
29) Thats Silas gets to be here with me
30) The moment when I saw both my boys for the first time
31) Hearing Silas cry when he was born and seeing his eyes open
32) Seeing how both our boys look like both of us and therefore, each other
33) Snuggling Silas
34) Hearing him laugh
35) Watching Todd with Silas
36) Seeing the man Todd has become since Gideon went to Heaven
37) Having a place to go and sit and visit Gideon at his final earthly resting place
38) Getting snow cones after I visit him at his place
39) Red velvet flavored snow cones..well, just snow cones. Yum.
40) Red velvet flavored ice cream
41) Ice cream in general. Delicious!!
43) Fettuccine Alfredo, pizza and hamburgers
44) Cheesecake....ok, I think I am done listing food! Can you tell I love food??
45) Being with Todd and our bestfriends
46) inside jokes
47) sleeping in late
48) using chapstick on my lips! (its my addiction!)
49) Talking to a friend who I havent talked to in a while and it feels totally natural
50) Watching my nieces and nephews play
This is 100 steps from my bedroom. I walked across the house and down our driveway. This if my perspective from my straight on, at my own eye level, but zoomed in to frame in the gate... I have a lot of good memories walking down this road.
After I walked 100 steps from my bedroom and took the picture of the gate and road, I took this photo looking down at my feet. Its amazing how many different perspectives you get just standing in one place.
52) Listening to loud music as I am driving and singing at the top of my lungs and looking like a crazy person
51) Playing board games with my family
53) feeling totally comfortable with Todd and being able to sit in silence and just BE.
54) Having a husband who is my best friend
55) The sound of rainfall on the roof
56) taking a shower after a long day
57) wearing makeup
58) having my hair cut
59) baking cookies and decorating cakes
60) eating cookies and cakes (wait, am I back on food again.. Sorry.)
61) shopping for clothes
62) shoes....i love shoes
63) having lots of pairs of glasses, I figure since I need glasses, I might as well have a lot of cute pairs!
64) Talking with my siblings, its nice when your siblings are your friends
65) having a close relationship with my parents
66) that I had really awesome grandparents...who are in heaven with Gideon.
67) facebook, its been a good way to keep in touch with old friends
68) Musicals and plays, reading them and going to see them
69) Seeing Silas experience everything for the first time; riding on an airplane, visiting the beach, visiting different states, etc.
70) The smell of wintertime
71) my favorite tv shows; Charmed, Scrubs, Monk, House, How I Met Your Mother, Big Bang Theory, Cosby Show, etc.
72) Seeing a good movie at the movie theatre.
73) the whole theatre experience and theatre in general
74) the whole dining experience at a good restaurant...(Well...here I am back to food...I must be hungry or something)
75) traveling and getting to experience something new
76) getting to travel to Maui Hawaii, Cozumel Mex, Niagara Falls Canada, New York, Tennessee, Colorado, New Mexico, Montana, Florida...and many states and cities in between...and ALL over the great state of Texas
77) getting to live in Texas. I love this state. I am one of those "too proud of Texas" people. I LOVE it here.
78) a good book.
79) my favorite books; I really love reading, so I will only list a few of the books that I enjoy..The Bible, The Chronicles of Narnia, Wicked, The Harry Potter series, The Great Divorce, A Grief Observed...actually everything I have read by CS Lewis...and all of Gregory Maguire's books, 1984, Brave New World, Dante's Inferno, Les Miserables, Catcher in the Rye...ok, I will stop listing books, I could go on and on...I think I could talk more about books than I have food. hahaha
80) the smell of my perfume
81) the way both of my boys smelled right after they were born
82) sitting down after a long day of standing
83) classic rock, 80's and 90's music
84) getting to go to museums and see things from other times or places or awesome art
85) a good burp. hahaha
86) a big glass of water, Dr. Pepper and Icewine
87) the Bible study that I have been doing the past year.
88) when the Holy Spirit speaks so clearly into my heart.
89) reading a good play...I could list a lot of those, but I will spare you all...
90) getting to see a good play.
91) having a good picture taken of me. haha.
92) the pictures I have of Gideon
93) the photography class I'm taking
94) air conditioning, indoor plumbing ...and an on-demand generator
95) the right to vote.
96) the right to worship in a free country.
97) rollercoaster rides!
98) baseball and hockey
99) the compassion God has given me for others who are grieving
100) the opportunity to help comfort others the way God has comforted me.
I could go on..and on...Even in the midst of pain, I have so much to be grateful for. So many blessings from the Lord. Thank you God, that in our darkest days, you are right beside us.
"Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire." Hebrews 12: 28-29
I walked 100 more steps after I took the picture of my feet and ended up on our road. It turned into a gloomy kind of afternoon. So this is my perspective from the side of the road. Again, this perspective is from my eye level, but zoomed all the way out.
This is 100 steps back from the gate picture, this is right by our house. I ended up standing right near this flower bush, so I zoomed in and got a picture with a close perspective, I like how you can see the water droplets on the flower.