Monday, May 27, 2013


Celebrate good times, come on! Let's celebrate!

See, I told you they were beautiful! :) 
On Friday night, I went out with my friends to have a girl's night to celebrate my sweet Gideon's 2nd birthday. (It was a belated celebration, 1 week after his birthday) After the past few weeks I have had, I NEEDED a night out with my friends! We went to the Cheesecake Factory. There ended up being 8 of us ladies there. And one thing we all have in common, we all have at least one baby in Heaven. In addition to celebrating Gideon's birthday, it was my friend Stefanie's birthday so we were able to celebrate her as well!!

It is just really fun to be in a group of women, laughing and talking and to not be afraid to talk about your baby who died. When I am in a group of other people, they might get a strange look on their face when I mention Gideon. Or if I talk about him frequently, they start to shuffle away from me. Even with a lot of my friends from before he died, they aren't as comfortable talking about him as I am, or as other moms with babies in Heaven. So, sometimes it is more comfortable to be in a group of mommies who have babies who have died than women who haven't. I know that may sound strange but just like any thing, we feel safe with people who can relate to us and understand us.

So we went to the Cheesecake Factory and I was greeted by hugs and smiles (and I even happened to run into an old friend from college and talked to her for a minute, which was a sweet surprise!). We all immediately started laughing and talking about everything from breastfeeding and labor, to sex and short cervixes, to Jesus and our relationship with Him, to family issues and to our babies lives and deaths. Pretty much any topic was not off limits (our poor waiter had to listen to us! HAH!). We are a little nuts!

These ladies (among other amazing women as well) have become an integral part of my life, I cant imagine my life without their friendship. Seriously, the women I have gotten close to in the last 2 years have some of the most beautiful faces and hearts. I love them!

Before I tell you the rest of the story, I want to say this: our babies who have died are a part of us. They have forever changed us and they are more special to us than words can explain. Hearing theirs names spoken is like music to our ears. Many people identify very strongly with their name and our names are so important to our identity. And for me, it is always a little unfulfilling that I do not get to use my son's name more often. I say Gideon's name every day. There has not gone a day since we gave him his name in Feb 2010 that I have not said his name. But part of it is missing. I will never say his name at a baseball game, or hear it at his college graduation, or hear it at his wedding. There is a long list of events where I will miss hearing his name spoken among a crowd.

Back to my story, at one point in the night my friend goes up to the waiter and whispers in his ear. She wasn't hitting on him so I knew she was planning on having happy birthday sung for Stefanie. So I was expecting them to come up and sing to Stef at any moment. Well, they did. But they were carrying 2 ice cream sundaes. And the waiter announced to the whole restaurant something like "Today we are celebrating Gideon and Stefanie's birthdays! Happy birthday to Gideon and Stefanie." Then they all sang happy birthday!
Crying and smiling! 
 It was for my sweet boy and my dear friend! I looked like a lunatic with a huge smile on my face with tears welling up in my eyes. You can see evidence of my surprise/happiness/tears in these pictures. Having a whole restaurant hear his name and to hear that we were celebrating him was extraordinary!

 Having Happy Birthday sang to him in a restaurant was one of the things that we would miss out on since he died, but a little piece of that was given to me Friday night! His birthday was validated and his name was spoken in a room full of strangers!
That was one thing we didn't have to lose when he went to Heaven!I asked my friend who told the waiter what she said to him and she told him that this was a special night because we are celebrating the birthday of Gideon who passed away and he would have been 2 years old. And the waiter told her he definitely could take care of it! Wow. To have someone who doesnt even know me not think it was weird and to have friends who cried and smiled along with me, what a blessing from God!!! It really makes my heart happy to know that Gideon is loved by so many people.

It was a really exceptional night (and I think my stomach still hurts from laughing so much!).

One of the greatest gifts that God has given me since Gideon passed away has been the gift of the friendships of other parents who have a baby in Heaven.

Thank you, to my dear friends, for celebrating the short life of my sweet son with me!

The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as incense and perfume. Proverbs 27:9 (NLT)

No comments: